Chapter 37 – A conversation with the woman part two
“Lerunda, there is something I want to ask you.”
“Lerunda… What are you going to choose if you really are the miko”
I repeat back to miss Lan.
I don’t understand what she means.
“This may be a difficult topic for you, but I want to talk about something that may happen.
It is a problem you are definitely going to face if you truly are the miko.”
Miss Lan looks serious.
A problem that will come up if I am the miko.
I’m scared of listening, but I have to face it.
I nod to miss Lan.
“The miko is a special being in this world.
It is a child loved by god and has special powers, but such power can have good or bad effects.”
The miko has special powers, its influence is immense, and it can cause good or bad effects.
“Many people recognize that gaining possession of the miko is enough to bring prosperity for their country.
Your sister was actually taken to the temple so the country can have custody of her.
There is also the fact that they want to safeguard a sacred being such as the miko, but the number one reason really is just to have the miko.
Bringing the miko into their custody is not necessarily a selfless act brought on by kind feelings.”
I nod as I listen to miss Lan.
“A country having the miko is in itself a threat to other countries.
Historically speaking, there have been countries that have gained custody of miko and did whatever they wanted, which resulted in resentment from the miko and the destruction of the country.
But it is entirely possible to control the miko while making sure she does not come to despise them.
All it takes is to create a happy world for the miko.”
“A happy world… For the miko.”
Create a kind world for the miko, and a picture of a happy world that only exists in her mind.
That way, it is possible to control the miko.”
Creating a kind world for the miko, and painting a picture of a happy world for her.
She says that’s possible.
Putting myself in that position.
If I was treated nicely I would probably believe it even if it wasn’t nice in reality.
If a happy space was created for me, I would probably keep believing in that kind world and, even though I don’t want to think about it, I might even end up dying.
No matter how cruel it actually was, I would keep believing in that kindness.
“So… Lerunda, you should be where you want to be.”
“What do you, mean”
“Many people would be willing to negotiate if it meant having the miko by their side.
For example, would you try to save the beast people if they were in trouble”
Asks miss Lan.
It seems very obvious what I should choose, so I nod.
I like everyone here, so of course I would try to save them.
“What if someone wanted you to stay by their side in exchange for saving the beast people What if someone said they would save the beast people and let them be happy if you went to their side…”
Save the beast people and let them be happy.
What would I do if someone said that If all I have to do is go… I think it’s fine.
If all I have to do is go for everyone to smile…
“If everyone, can smile…”
“You don’t know if they really would be saved or if they would be happy even if you agreed.”
“You don’t know if the other person would do what they said.
They could be lying and do the opposite, hurt the beast people.”
Miss Lan says I don’t know if the other person would stick to what they said.
They might be lying and actually do something completely different.
“And the beast people wouldn’t be happy if you traded yourself for their safety.
No one wants to see people important to them being sacrificed for their sake.
You should be aware that you’re very dear to them.”
Says miss Lan as she looks directly at me.
“You’re very dear to them and you’re loved, and anyone would be sad if something bad happened to someone dear to them.
The beast people and you feel the same way about each other.
You want to be together with people that are important to you and happily smile, but everyone wants the same.”
Miss Lan says the same thing that Gaius said.
“You’re important to the beast people, and they’re important to you, so you should stay together.
Happiness can’t be a one way street, and it’s best if you’re happy together.
If one is unhappy for the sake of the other’s happiness, no one is happy.”
Miss Lan says happiness has to be a two way street.
“If you really are the miko, all sorts of choices will be thrust upon you.
What will you and what will you choose when the time comes Will you live in the world of humans or beast people That kind of question will come up.”
If I really am the miko, I’m going to have to make decisions.
What will I do when the time comes when I have to choose And if I am the miko, those choices will have all sorts of effects.
“Your choices may have big effects, and be connected to many other things.
That is something to think about, but in the end, you should choose what you think is best.”
“Yes, it’s a very complicated issue.
That is why you should talk to someone when you’re indecisive, think it over very well, and make a decision.”
It’s complicated, but I think I have to take my time and think about what miss Lan says.
“Miss Lan, should I say, I’m probably, the miko”
I say what is on my mind, and ask miss Lan.
I don’t know if I’m the miko, but should I tell everyone that maybe I am
“That is… A difficult question.
In my opinion, I think it would be fine if you tell mister Athos.”
“What makes it such a difficult topic is that there is no way to tell if you really are the miko.
Let’s think about the timing carefully.”
“You look sleepy, you should go to bed.
Let’s talk more about this tomorrow.”
I nod and head towards my bed.
I fall asleep, tired of talking so much.
—A conversation with the woman part two